Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a blood sugar so low that all I can do is moan “LOW” over and over again until Jeremy wakes up, jumps out of bed, and gets me some juice. Juice boxes have gone really cheap since the last time you had one. Those straws are junk, especially at two AM.

And then other times, I wake up in the wee hours with a headache so bad that all I can do is moan “head” over and over again until Jeremy wakes up, jumps out of bed, and gets me some Excedrine migraine. These headaches come on every so often, and they progress steadily. If it starts when I’m awake, I can roll my neck, get something hot to drink, do some Wii yoga (when I’m at home and not at work), breathe deeply, or even take some Tylenol and usually hold it off until it’s time to sleep. If I can manage that, I’m ok.

But we’ve been traveling a lot lately, I’m getting kind of worn out, and I had nightmares about waiting tables last night. The restaurant was jam-packed full when I got there, and it was taking me twenty minutes just to get one table three coffees and a lemonade. I woke up with a pounding head, thinking “geez, I could just fill five regulars and a decaf, then go table to table dropping them off as they’re ordered. Then I could have gone back to the first table, taken their order. If there were any teas, I could go get those, go to the second table to get their order, then get any juices, go to the next table. . .” Problem-solving at 5AM, over a problem that doesn’t exist, with a headache so bad that I couldn’t open my eyes. I was just telling Jeremy the other day that waiting tables never, ever leaves you.

I was going to go strawberry picking today and make some more jam, with sugar this time so that Jeremy will like it. Also, last week I learned that jam tastes much sweeter hot than it does when it cools down, so I can use that tidbit as well. But now I don’t know. I want to spend some time in my kitchen today, but the day did not begin well. Excedrin migraine on an empty stomach is not a good thing, plus the huge dose of caffeine it contains prevented me from sleeping much beyond six, and we went to bed very late last night. I might have to spend the day in the armchair with Anna Karenina, and maybe walk to the bookstore and see if they have any Dostoevsky.

I like the idea of walking to the bookstore for some gentle exercise. I also like that we now have a very nice restaurant an easy walk from our house. And we have a comfy coffee/wine bar at an easy walking distance too, plus they have the good Hood soft-serve ice cream all year long. In the summer, there’s an awesome ice cream place five minutes away with Giffords ice cream, mature trees and lounge chairs, ladder golf and other cool games, in addition to little chicks running around next to the parking lot. (It’s called Le Moos, if you live nearby you should check it out!) In many ways I like our location, and I feel very strongly that buying this house was a blessed decision. But lately it’s been increasingly obvious that Claremont is missing all of the very crucial things. All the churches here are filled with grey heads, and there isn’t a single one that Jeremy and I can attend together; when I hear Bob and Barb (ha, see there Uncle Bob I did it!) talking about the life in their church in Singapore, I feel an uncomfortable level of envy. There is absolutely no music or theater of any kind, except what they ship in from elsewhere. I can’t take voice lessons, and I can’t perform. (Well, I could if I wanted to spend a great deal of my life in my car.) There aren’t even any good jobs here, so we have to work in VT and pay income taxes to a state from which we derive no benefits except our - nice and solid - jobs. There is no intellect here; in fact, it’s a manufacturing community, so the majority of people look at those who are educated or want to be in much the same way as the poor look at the rich.

I’m beginning to find myself hoping that we can find a way to move to a more vibrant community before I am too old to get anything out of it. Or maybe I just need to rest.