I walked to the bookstore in the center of town tonight, starting out a little after eight.
A: I shouldn’t have gone alone.
J: Why?
A: Not this time of night. It was getting darker and darker, and there are all those buildings and little side-streets, it got a little scary. Catcalls from cars and stuff.
J: WHAT?!
A: Just whistling and catcalls. It’s not usually so bad, but I was alone, and it was getting dark.
A:. . . Why are you so astonished? (? ? ?)
Not that I enjoy that kind of attention, because I really don’t, it’s creepy. But my husband, of all people, should think there’s something to pay attention to! (=T) <– (that’s a wry face)
Even with Tuesdays off while I was taking two classes for the May/June term, it was still so much work for eight whole weeks that I’m having a hard time letting go of the stress. Evenings are long, boring, and empty now. No worries though, I’m sure I’ll have relaxation down pat just as it’s time to start another class again. During audit season. And harvest-time. And birthdays-Thanksgiving-Christmas.
There is no such thing as balance.
A co-worker today caught me walking-and-reading on my way to the gym for a 10-minute break, and told me that he had heard somewhere that Edith Wharton’s mother wouldn’t let Edith read a book until she, the mother, had read and approved it. I told him it made sense to me: my parents did that with movies. He said movies are one thing, but books are another. I told him that books are worse. He gave me a “yeah, whatever” look, but I didn’t have time to explain myself because it was a workplace conversation. Office conversations with members of other departments cannot pass the 30-second mark. There’s a law about that somewhere.
But books are worse, and I spent a slow afternoon accumulating my reasoning.
Tuesday, 06/30/2009 - Written by Angela at 7:47 pm - No Comments - Musings, Our Little World - Permalink
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a blood sugar so low that all I can do is moan “LOW” over and over again until Jeremy wakes up, jumps out of bed, and gets me some juice. Juice boxes have gone really cheap since the last time you had one. Those straws are junk, especially at two AM.
And then other times, I wake up in the wee hours with a headache so bad that all I can do is moan “head”
Sunday, 06/28/2009 - Written by Angela at 6:33 am - No Comments - Diabetes, Our Little World - Permalink
We went picking this morning! Didn’t get there as early as morning-person me wanted to, but we managed to leave just as the sun was starting to get hot. We weren’t sure how many strawberries we’d need for jam, so we each filled a tray. Wow. That was 23 pounds of strawberries! And FYI, 2.5 pounds of fresh summer strawberries = 4 cups of mashed strawberries. In case any of you are planning on jamming during the next couple of weeks.
So, I made two batches of jam, with honey instead of sugar. Apparently Jeremy isn’t thrilled about the flavor, and I am very disappointed by that. I think it tastes just fine; but then again, I like honey. I made the half-batch of jelly with sugar though, so he’ll get something. But, now I have eight jars of honey-jam and I don’t know how I’m going to get through them all!
Saturday, 06/20/2009 - Written by Angela at 4:17 pm - No Comments - In the Kitchen, Our Little World - Permalink
The school term is almost over, and I’m taking July and August off, so hel-lo summer!
I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this one. Last year I planned to read a lot of Madeleine L’Engle (done), and practice my harp (not done). Really, I think the harp is a lost cause. Kind of like the singing. It’s no good unless you have somewhere to do it, and I live in Claremont.
I do know that we plan to go strawberry picking, and I’m going to try canning some jam. I’m pretty excited about this. We’re also picking away at constructing our first garden this summer, so that next spring all we’ll have to do is plant. It’s going to start small, but we’ll add new sections each season for use the following year. This will keep costs manageable - our yard slopes dramatically, so we have to build retaining walls.
Of course I’m going to do a lot of reading, but I don’t have an author picked out this time.
I am burnt out. And I know that when I feel this way, I should not think. I should just turn off my brain and plod along until I can get some rest and be myself again. But I can’t help thinking. And my thoughts are not good. All I really want to do right now is crawl into bed, sleep for a week, and then read ten new books all in a row without any interruption. Oh, and did I mention that during this two-week period I must not see any people except me, myself, and I?
Right now, I resent everyone and everything who gets in the way of that shining dream.
BLAH.
So three years ago (holy stink), we had a chance to visit two of our favorite people in the whole world down in Washington DC: cousin Ember and her husband Vishal. And three years later to the day, we got to do it again!
Yep, we left last Friday after work, and drove the 4.5 hours to Bob and Leah’s house in northern NJ. It was great to see them again, and hang out in their natural habitat. Lucas has gotten so big, and I had a great time horsing around with him while we were there. He’s a big fan of chocolate milk, so he’s got my vote as one of the coolest kids ever. It was the first time we got to see the semi-new little one, Andy, a cutie by any standard. We had fun playing Bible trivia, checking out Bob’s mancave, and enjoying a leisurely breakfast of bagels and taylor ham from the local deli. Thanks to Bob and Leah for putting us up! We left around 9:30am on Saturday, and after hitting some darn stinkin ridiculous happy traffic, we arrived at Ember and Vishal’s apartment in Alexandria, VA.
We got to spend some real, quality time with those two, who took us around to some of their favorite areas, like the walk around the pond by the Jefferson Memorial where cherry blossoms line the water. Other highlights were the FDR Memorial, an open air market (where we found some unbelievable build-your-own crepes; nutella, banana, and cinnamon-sugar anyone?) Iwo-Jima Memorial, a cookout along the river on Memorial Day, and of course, loads and loads of tennis. Vishal and I must have played a good four or five hours during our visit. We also had two nights of Settlers of Catan, mixed with ice cream both nights. Oh baby, what a time.
They also cooked us fantastic food. Angela and I are really enjoying enlarging our tastebud vocabulary, and we were not disappointed. I wish I could remember all of what we had but let’s just say that we’re both excited to try adding those Indian recipies to our home menu. Monday night, we were able to take them out to an Asian bistro that featured many types of Asian cuisine, including Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and Indian. Yeah, we’ll soon be walking dictionaries of world food. Oh baby, so tasty.
Anyway, we had a truly enriching experience with them, as we always do. Thanks to Ember and Vishal for such a fun time, and we can’t wait to see you both again in the fall!
Remember middle school math and the Lowest Common Denominator? You couldn’t add or subtract a fraction without it. It may have tormented you, but it certainly had its place and was useful in its own setting.
Out in the world though, the religion of the Lowest Common Denominator bothers me to no end. It first started in high school, where I think it was my chemistry teacher who introduced me to the real-life concept: “The Regents exam is a lowest-common-denominator test. You’ve learned far more than you’ll need to know, and you will all do very well, so don’t worry about it.” Why base the assessment of my “achievement” on only the smallest part of what I’ve learned?
In college, the concept popped up in “group projects.” As Leah said last weekend, one of the two ways a group project works itself out is when “everyone participates, and the group becomes as weak as its weakest link.” Unless the top one or two students in the group steps up and does all of the work, everyone must diminish himself to the level of the lowest student and work from there.
And it just keeps going. Last winter, Jeremy, trying as always to help me be better at people, and with the best of intentions, informed me that I would really seem a lot friendlier if I would stop using unusual words (such as, for example, “diminish” and “evince”). He then went on to say that if I just use an easier word that means approximately the same thing, people would like me more, and possibly understand me better. Apparently, purposely saying what I don’t mean would not make me a liar, it would make me nice. (!)
I rounded on him so fast and hard that his head was spinning for hours. In fact, he now denies ever saying such things!
Why does “fitting in” require that everyone diminish herself to the lowest possible level? In worldly practice, LCD is omnipresent and omnipotent. . . and therefore incomplete. By acting on LCD thinking, we sacrifice knowledge and understanding in order to fit in, or seem friendly, or keep from injuring another’s inflated sense of importance. Yet other than some fundamental DNA programming, which is really only mud and clay, the single shared element of every human on the face of the earth is God. Since the true lowest common denominator is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient, we must not try to find our link to others by lowering ourselves to them. We should be lifting each other up.
Of course this won’t happen, but it really should.
[For the record, I have not changed my speaking patterns. Those who don't know the meaning of some of my words will derive it from context, thus sharpening their language skills. Since we think and communicate primarily in words, this raises their level of consciousness and helps them deepen as people. While it would be nice, my goals in life do not include being liked or understood, and I have no intention of bowing to any god but God.]
Jeremy was making a tiny little grocery list a few minutes ago. We were gone all weekend, and apparently we’ll be gone this weekend too, so we don’t need much.
Sometimes I wish my husband weren’t quite so popular. But, I digress.
J: So what do we need?
A: Some lovin’!
J: . . . Banana chips, we’re fine on Kashi. . . what do you want for a snack?
Forget that last blog entry. This is why we don’t have any babies. We’re hopelessly rated G.
Let me just start by saying that I don’t dislike children, and I don’t dislike anyone else for choosing to have children. But some of the people around us seem to have trouble understanding that our decision not to have children is a carefully considered choice which we reevaluate on a regular basis. Their perspective may even be fair, because we’ve never given them our reasons. So, here they are:
Research shows, he says, that the first idea works: married people are happier, healthier, live longer, are richer per capita, and have more sex than single people. But having children “has only a small effect on happiness, and it is a negative one,” he explains. “People report being least happy when their children are toddlers and adolescents, the ages when kids require the most from the parents.”
13. Our long term goals preclude children. Our long-term goal is self-employment for both of us: a complicated matter since one of us has an expensive, chronic illness. Our long-term dream takes the form of a non-profit that looks a lot like Habitat for Humanity. (Which is not active around here because land costs are so high.) These things take money and time-ownership, neither of which we would have with children.
14. Children are not a tool for the parents’ gratification. This includes us in our roles as progeny. Yeah, I know all the jokes like “we didn’t have a dishwasher, we had kids” that come from both sides of our families. We think it’s pretty funny too; but the fact that the mindset hasn’t changed isn’t so funny. Given who we are individually and as a married couple, there is no logic to bridge the gap between our families’ “I want grandchildren” and “I want a niece or nephew” to “Children would make you happy.” None.
While we enjoy helping others and consciously strive to do so, we believe that our lives are our own to live. Other peoples’ choices, expectations, and desires are not rules by which we must live: we are free men, not shackled slaves. If there are those around us who resent that mindset, we invite them to adopt it for themselves. It will add amazing joy to their lives, for the glory of God is man fully alive ! (St. Irenaeus.)
Sunday, 04/26/2009 - Written by Angela at 7:39 am - 2 Comments - In the Kitchen, Our Little World - Permalink